Strength and Anger

Something clicked last night for me. My abuse counselor said it might eventually. I realized when you get to the point where you’re clinging to hopes of proving your worth to someone, there’s nothing left to cling to. When someone has decided in their own mind to think the worst of your motives, character, and personality, when you have done nothing but reach out in love and affirm them over and over; when you continue to assume the best of their intentions time and again only to be destroyed by their utter disregard for compassion and love; when you begin to realize that your very definition of living and loving someone is the nemesis of their rejection; when you begin to see that your value in perception to them is based on their ability to control you; when the patterns become so textbook they are almost laughable…it’s time to let go. When they stopped believing in you and made their love conditional, you passed the point of no return. In this moment, when you recognize that they are unable to love you as you love them, you are moved to pity and you begin to be angry. And when deep wrongs have been done to you, anger is okay. I know you’re reading this, this person in my life, and you will hate me for it, but you stepped out of my life the moment you loved your pride and control more than you loved me. Leaving you was not abandonment, it was courage, and I will never regret it. I hope you find everything you are looking for, but begin with finding yourself. You cannot strip my value from me. I am no longer granting you that power. Thank you for the many things you did teach me, I hope you can find that spirit of first love again.

xoxoxo

-sportyspice

 

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