This is seriously the CRAZIEST season of my life. Combine a legal separation/pending divorce, custody craziness, natural painful emotions and processing, redirecting my life as a single mom, caring for my child, work to provide for myself and my child, school, and a bunch of other things…
When you’re spinning this many plates, you start to think you’re in control.
While I STRONGLY believe in FREE WILL, I’ve noticed that when I am forced to deal with so many things on a daily basis, I start to feel frantic and scattered because I feel like ALL of the pressure in the WORLD is on my shoulders.
First, I’ll acknowledge that staying busy has become my way of NOT coping with emotion. That is NOT a good thing.
So much is notably out of my control legally, relationally, and with my future that I find myself doing all I can to control everything else. Not surprisingly, this has the opposite effect.
I don’t give myself time to breathe. My hands are all over the place, spinning all of my little plates in my crazy *ss little world, and I forget that actually, the burden is not on me, it’s not in my control – none of it – it’s on Someone who has me covered.
This is when I remember something someone said to me a few years ago about this manner of living. Simply stated:
SIT ON YOUR HANDS.
This is NOT an encouragement to abdicate responsibility in your life, to be lazy, or to pretend you have no impact on the outcome of your decisions or lack of decisions.
It is simply a reminder that once in a while, you need to breathe, you need to remember Who is holding you and gently directing your steps. You need to stop running, stop rushing everything, stop questioning and wondering and overanalyzing and confusing yourself, mellow out, and sit on your damn hands.
My first counselor months and months ago told me to follow peace. When you pass that feeling of peace, you’ve passed God. You forgot about him while you were trying to control everything and convincing yourself you could, should, or will.
Don’t pass peace.
Sit on your hands.
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
– Prov 19:21