Tag Archives: truth

CANDOR

Sometimes you sit, and you stare at the reality that is your life, and you reflect.

Today I’ve been all caught up in my head space. I spend way too much time overanalyzing my own progress or regression. I am easily devastated by the opinions of anyone I trust, if a negative criticism is suggested.

Today someone suggested I had PTSD from prior relationships. That’ I run from potential. That I have a lot of unresolved issues.

They said this when I suggested that things were moving too fast – that it was important to slow down and build something rationally, explore possibilities without making assumptions.

I sat there, and I wondered – am I damaged?

I’ve been severely ill, abused, and abandoned. What are the ramifications of those three separate life events?

Are we a product of our circumstances, or of our choices, or of our self-awareness? All three? Does my obsessive self-reflection and desire to understand my own psyche help me progress, or do I need to learn to live in the moment? Abandon all learned behaviors and defenses in favor of possibility? What is truly wise, and what is fear-driven?

Sometimes I am so confident that I know myself, and others, I wonder if I’m blind to my own inconsistencies.

My soul is a war of traditional with free spirit – on a regular basis. Reserve and caution and respect for the culture I grew up in, at war with my constant desire to be free and open to the world, to walk around without boundaries, to rebel against the idea that I could be owned or possessed or controlled in any way by another human.

I’ve changed dynamically and exponentially this last few years. I’ve become a person that I NEVER expected to be – but someone I truly love. I never stop growing, changing, evolving, learning.

The more I know myself, the more I realize how much I have to learn.

The problem with realizing how much you evolve and open up and change is that you realize you’re boundless – your limits are unknown. Apart from your moral and ethical code, you have no idea where your journey and self-development may take you. You’re unaware of who you may be in 6 months, a year, 5 years. You can hardly ever say “I wouldn’t”… because you know the “wouldn’ts” you’ve already done.

The older I get, the more I learn myself, the more I realize that being candid with myself and others means admitting that I am a constantly growing, changing, burning, fiercely alive human being. I am passionately and intensely and humanly both consistent and inconsistent. I am reliable where it matters, and transient and changing where life ebbs and flows. Harsh lessons and beautiful connections empower and compel me to change and evolve.

Candor means admitting that sometimes, I do not know what I want. Sometimes, that is purely because I understand my own capacity for evolution – and not because I’m damaged, broken, or unresolved in any way.

I am simply human.

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What Doesn’t Kill Me

If you look back on a brief synopsis of my life the last decade, you’d wonder how I am who I am today, how I am where I am – and where the hell I’m headed.

  • 7 years of chronic illness. Hospitals, dressing changes, PICC lines, never a normal life like all my friends had from 18-24… so much crying and so much fear. I went to bed wondering how much pain the next day would bring.
  • 3 years of intense emotional and physical pain in my marriage. Leaving and starting over as a single mother. Begging for money from strangers on my drive. Minimum wage, credit cards. The devil at my back, driving me to succeed because a Little Someone needed me to.
  • Moving for an opportunity that fell through 2 weeks after I had spent my entire, meager savings relocating and signing my first lease as a single mother. Getting a job two days later that fell through 2 months later when I was fired for reporting sexual harassment. Washing cars to make ends meet. Studying my ass off to recertify as a trainer. Never knowing every month if what I had would be enough. Eating rice cakes and peanut butter to survive. 11 things in collections… I simply couldn’t pay them.
  • Finally relocating for a better life, with someone I truly loved who treated me well, and MAKING it, first time in my life I wasn’t afraid of not surviving… breaking up 11 months later and facing my life head-on again, with a dramatic increase in living costs, and no help – once again, single mother, running from all of the possible failure at my back.

With the amount of fear and crying and that tight throat feeling I’ve had this last decade or more, I should be a bitter, jaded, angry, person. I should be cynical, fearful of change, living in anxiety and closed off to risks. I should be, but I am not.

“What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” – we have all heard it, but it’s not automatically true.

What doesn’t kill you can leave you broken. Your pain can debilitate you. Change you, degrade you, hurt you. Leave you alone in the darkness.

What doesn’t kill you can leave you destroyed – a shipwreck of humanity on the shores of broken dreams and one too many prayers for salvation.

Or…

It can make you stronger. But you know what the difference is in that “or”?

It’s just YOU. YOU are the difference. Your choice is the difference. Your determination, your ability to keep your chin up no matter how many times life throws a left hook and drops you. No matter how many times you’re beaten down and broken and hurt and afraid, no matter how many times you hit the “can’t” wall – no matter how many times life abuses your hopes and tarnishes the beauty of your optimism – YOU ARE THE DIFFERENCE.

You decide what you will make of your pain. You decide what will come of your past. YOU. YOU DECIDE.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL TO ME. The little things are precious. Human connection is empowering. The ability to relate to others in pain I’ve experienced is priceless. Faith is a beacon. I don’t sweat the small stuff. I live hopeful, determined, progressive, disciplined, driven, strong. The world is bigger, more open, less limiting for the limitations I’ve experienced.

Life has never been easy for me, but my callouses are hard-earned, and impenetrable. I’m tough as nails, because I CHOSE TO BECOME STRONGER.

I am deeper, wiser, kinder, more hopeful, more loving, more outward-focused, more joyful, because life didn’t kill me. It didn’t break me. I pick myself up every damn time, and I FUCKING CHOOSE TO LIVE.

Here I am in sunny San Diego, surrounded by amazing friends, strapped again but LOVING the fact that I GOT MYSELF HERE. I toughened up, I CHOSE. I DECIDED TO BE STRONGER.

What didn’t kill me made me BEAUTIFUL.

Never forget that YOU are the determining factor in your life… who you become will be a result of what you choose to do with what COULD kill you. BE STRONGER. BE WISER, BE MORE FAITHFUL, DRIVEN, PASSIONATE, OPEN, LOVING, KIND, POWERFUL, CAPABLE…

Be STRONGER.

I believe in you.

smile

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The Importance of Being Earnest

If you haven’t seen the iconic “Importance of Being Earnest” movie, it’s a fluffy, cute romantic comedy starring some fan favorites. You can check it out here. The movie is based on a book by Oscar Wilde, and stars two men pretending to be something they are not… and remembering this film sparked some thoughts for me today.

Our culture is increasingly driven by two powerful “I” words: Ignorance and Image. It feeds off of those who can pretend to be what they are not, and those who believe them. Problem? I think so.

This generation is more belabored by bull shit than any previous generation. We’re surrounded by photoshopping, inflation, exaggeration, comparison, greed, and lies. We’re inundated with it. We live and breathe it.. and most likely as a result, we think it.

When you’re constantly exposed to small amounts of toxic chemicals, they can kill you. In the same way, the constant barrage from a culture based on things that are FAKE (Image) can promote similar tendencies in our own behavior if we are not keen to ascertain them (Ignorance).

Some people are clearly and maliciously fake. They pretend (and pretend very well) to be something or someone they are not. To want things they don’t want, to be what they think you want them to be for whatever end they are serving. Others of us, like myself, may slip into these habits from ignorance – from a lack of alertness to this common cultural bias toward being fake.

I see this in how I present myself to people. I may cater my words, retract a perspective, suggest something that is slightly untrue but not entirely false in order to gain approval or commendation. I may not do this maliciously, or often, but I may still do it. When I do it – or when I catch myself doing it – I hate it. I hate everything about it.

I’m from the old-school society that things that your value depends heavily on how much Integrity you have – another “I” word that is a million times more powerful than Ignorance and Image. When you have integrity to what you believe, who you are, what you stand for – and additionally, to the good and respect of others… you can do amazing things, and you can live with yourself.

It’s so easy to cave to this culture, to forget that we so quickly cater to the people around us in small ways. It’s so easy to let your guard down and be what someone wants you to be because you love them or because you simply want them to like you. But it is so, so detrimental to your character, and your relationships.

This can play out in some odd ways you might not expect. Someone asked me once if I regretted anything from my relationship with my ex-husband. I had to think about it pretty heavily. I finally realized I did have one regret – I regretted lying to him for years. Sound appalling? It is, but it was more subtle than you think.

These were lies of omission – of omitting how I really felt and thought about things. How I felt about him yelling at me, about porn affecting our relationship. How I felt about never seeing him, never getting time together. About his hours and hours on the computer and me crawling into bed alone every night. About sexuality when he wanted it, but only when he did… and always when he did, and how he wanted it. I lied about who I was by not saying how I felt. By not standing up for myself. By not being honest when things hurt me. By the time I did, he was genuinely shocked that I remembered every single hurt, abuse, and neglect. Every single malicious word. Every put-down. Every time I paid for his bad days. I remembered Every. Single. One.

My dear friend Josh was the unfortunate beast of burden right after I left my ex and drove in the middle of the night many hours away. He had to listen as I poured my heart out, brokenly, about finally leaving. About fear and pain and loss and hurt. We talked about a lot of things and he called me out when I said that my ex forgetting every little thing about me every day – likes and dislikes and holidays and birthdays and anniversaries – never hurt me. He said “when did the romantic Jen die? You know, it is okay to be a woman.” I burst into tears.

Have you ever heard the phrase “We accept the love we believe we deserve?” Neither had I until this year. But that is so damn true.

The more you lie to yourself, the more you omit things in your relationships, the less you say when things hurt, when they break you down – the less you listen to your gut instincts, the less you are honest with others about who you are, what you want, and where you’re headed – the more you cater and cave and conform… the more you will find yourself playing right into a culture of Ignorance and Image.

You’re losing your Integrity.

The little things that bother you. The repeated hurtful words. The distance or the disregard. Those things will destroy you – they will destroy your relationships if you do not speak up.

Have the integrity to operate outside of a culture of lies. Be earnestly, completely, fully yourself. Fully honest with yourself, and with others. If you do love someone and you do care about them, be honest now. Speak up now. Be real – NOW. Before it is too late and one day you break, and you’re real and raw with them and everything falls apart because it was based on lies.

The truth will either make your relationship stronger, or it will break you apart – and if the truth breaks you apart, you never would have made it. Wouldn’t you rather know now?

Be honest with yourself. Be honest with others.

Be real, and true, and raw with the world.

Be you.

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Vet-Life: why you should support them (and possibly get over yourself)

1920x450_1 I never offer up blogs about products… or rarely, because it’s pretty damn rare I believe in them. Let me tell you a story to preface my shameless plug for Vet-Life. Actually, let me tell you 23 million stories.

  • 23 million veterans since 2009.
  • 840,000 homeless.
  • 22 veteran suicides… a day.
  • 300,000 veterans on the streets on a given night.
  • Substance abuse and mental health issues from PTSD, with no hope and no help.
  • Inadequate shelter options.
  • Men and women abandoned by our people and our government after years of sacrifice.

Guess what… I don’t care if you don’t support the war. If you never supported it. If you have a negative opinion of the men and women who go to battle for you and your family. They don’t desert your safety because you don’t believe in them. They don’t return your derision simply because they don’t understand your perspective. We cannot understand what we have not experienced.

Many years alongside the Marine Corps allowed some intimate glances into the minds and hearts of men who serve, for me. I trained many of these men and women in the gym and I trained alongside them. These are real people, with real humanity and empathy. Very, very few – VERY FEW – went in “to kill”. Many never thought they really would. Were they willing to, for your safety? Yes. But they never craved that experience.

These people went to war – many because they and millions of others were convinced by our government during 9-11 that this was a dire need. They thought they were protecting us. Whatever your political affiliations or revelations or disturbing information about our government’s reasons for war that have since come to light, these people I knew… they went in because they cared about your freedom and thought to protect it. They had no other purpose or mission.

When you remember that you have never walked a mile in their fucking boots, many of you have never even known a military member – you would do well to stop and consider the empathy you may have neglected for the sacrifices they made in the name of freedom. Whatever you think of the war, remember that these are human beings. They served and serve out of a passion for your ability to walk, talk, breathe, pray, marry, speak up – without fear of oppression.

I love this community, and I support them with pride.

My friend Kevin works in the private sector now, but spent many years in service. He and his business partner, Corey Peters, are both veterans who started the company Vet-Life on September 11, 2014. Vet-Life takes an active role in the veteran community through the support of various veteran charities and their families throughout the United States, including:

  • Live to Tell Foundations
  • Student Veteran House
  • Homeless Veterans
  • Mission 22

Vet-Life’s mission is to support armed service members and veterans through a diverse line of in-demand apparel. The clothing is comfortable and fashion-forward. The company purposes to honor and represent ALL veterans from military branches, including police officers, firefighters, EMT’s, and other heroes of America who’ve risked their lives for people they’ve never met.

Vet-Life is ready to give back to those who have given so much to us.

Are you?

Click HERE to browse the apparel and provide your support to our veterans! vet      

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Body(building) Dysmorphia

Body Dysmorphia:

“…Involves belief that one’s own appearance is unusually defective

and is worthy of being hidden or fixed.

At the ripe young age of 25 I found myself a new mother. My whole life I had fought to fit into a mold of some kind, whether religious or emotional or relational or physical, and I felt lost. I had wider hips. Boobs. I was “oddly shaped”: small upper body, skinny legs, tired glutes…. and I really did have boobs. Double D’s, at the time (oh the nursing days…). I felt lost. I didn’t know this body. What was this? What should I do with it?

I started counting calories and running with some light weight lifting again, something I hadn’t really done since highschool. I’d been active, but not religious with food concerns.

Around that time I got an iphone. I got Instagram. I searched “fitness”… and I found a bikini competitor. I was hooked. I saw she was a mom… and I was hooked.

5.5 months later I placed top 2 at my first NPC show and qualified for nationals. I’d followed months of rigorous nutrition plans and workouts and starved and depleted myself down appropriately for peak week. I hadn’t ever been so proud of how I looked.

2 weeks later, with poor coaching and no reverse dieting instructions, I was 22 lbs heavier and absolutely miserable.

So began a long cycle this last few years of “bulking” and “cutting”. So began what I am now examining as a probably unhealthy relationship with food and a certainly unhealthy immersion into a culture that perpetuated insecurities and increasingly severe body dysmorphia.

The bodybuilding culture lives, eats, breathes, and thrives on comparisons. How you look LITERALLY determines your value.

While this culture has been easy on some… it is very, very hard on others.

The focus is always on flaws… not progress. If you’re going to stand onstage next to someone who worked harder or has better genetics in their favor, you have to make up for it somehow. To increase your value… you have to look different.

Spend almost 3 years trying very hard to look different, and it becomes incredibly easy to be supremely self-critical. You spend so much time trying to “fix” your body, that you forget how much it’s already changed or what it’s capable of. You begin to view it as a piece of shit failure with a lot of ground to cover to be “the best”, and you become obsessed with your own flaws.

Everyone is constantly trying to fix themselves. Diet changes, workout tweaks, everything – all grounded on becoming “perfect”.

Nutrition is regimented to the gram… to the nut! I remember my boyfriend saying “seriously… what is one extra almond going to do to you babe” as I religiously counted out my 10 almonds one night.

Take these behaviors out of the sport of bodybuilding: self-criticism of an already athletic and healthy physique, supreme obsession with measuring food, high concern about varying even an iota off plan, and severe self-criticism and abasement… and you have what many would call an eating disorder, an exercise disorder, or at the least… body dysmorphia.

In the beginning, bodybuilding was an amazing test of discipline. Over the last 5 preps, it has instead become a painful way to color my view of my own body… a body that is sexy, strong, and very, very healthy.

Today I attended my first Crossfit class at Free Range Crossfit (http://freerangecrossfit.com/). I was super, super nervous. I kept thinking about how my thighs are still carrying fat from my bulk… I don’t have a six pack right now… my shoulders are still so small. I was worried about skipping a lift day and my body… digressing?

Instead, I had an absolute. Fucking. Blast. By the end, my shirt was off. I wasn’t thinking about extra bodyfat. No one was looking at or critiquing me. I rowed my damn heart out, and I buddy-carried a 150 lb dude back and forth in a parking lot multiple times. I heard “awesome job”, “one more”, “wow, your lungs are strong, dude!” and much more encouragement. Post-WOD, I’m incredibly sore and exhausted, but I didn’t come away and look at the mirror to see if my quads were tapering… or waist was smaller… or triceps more pronounced. I felt strong, powerful, beautiful, and capable.

When I got home, I ate a damn brown rice wrap with turkey and mustard and spinach – at a meal where I normally don’t get carbs. Later, I had egg whites instead of tuna. I had ketchup with it, too. Am I going off-grid, crazy, wild, treating my body like crap? No. But I’m letting go of the obsession.

I’m still meal planning. Still cutting. Still focused on what I need to do to progress. But I’m done hiding things, fixing them… viewing them as defective. I’m done buying into body dysmorphia disguised as a passion for progress.

I applaud everyone still in the industry who finds a balance, who feels great about themselves at every stage. But for me, every day is a greater confirmation that leaving competing was a good thing.I want to grow into a healthier mindset… a greater belief in my own power and less self-criticism. I want to stop worrying about an extra almond or a substitution. I want to change how I see myself. I want to give up the habit of critiquing every flaw. I want to move forward out of a very body dysmorphic culture, and into one that focuses on long-term good and uplifts and encourages me to be and do my very best.

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Why Competing Can Drive You… or Drive You Crazy

If you polled the average competitor from 18-35 I think you would get a variety of reasons for competing. Some would say it keeps them in shape, some want to see what they’re capable of. Some want to prove others right (or wrong), some want their “body back” after a baby. Some want to live up to the legends, see if they can beat them. Some want it for pure attention, and some want it because they know that it opens doors.

People compete for many different reasons, but at the end of the day, every person will be broken down and built back up by their journey.

I’ve seen relationships broken down and rebuilt. Broken down and abandoned. I’ve seen people cry backstage, post-stage, onstage. I’ve seen girls who got up there and were completely mortified to realize they weren’t ready, men who thought they looked good compared to their buddies, and realized how “small” they were when they lined up with the best of the best.

In the two short years I’ve been in this sport, my whole perspective on fitness has changed. In a way, it has become an obsession, and it’s something I have to watch closely.

The problem is, competing can drive you… or it can drive you crazy.

If you let it, if you control it, it can be an incredible motivator. It can give you discipline, self-control, focus in areas of your life that are outside of simple gym time. It can teach you a lot about your body, science, muscles, nutrition, fuel, metabolism. You can learn a lot.

After the shock of your first show, you will realize that the competition can be stiff, and it only gets harder the further you go. You will realize that you’re both capable of and far from your own high potential.

Competing can drive you to be your personal best, it can open new doors for you and inspire others. It can cut your carbs so low you cry, and push your endorphins so high you feel like you’re flying. I can break you, build you, mend you, make you.

All of the shit from your past life comes out in prep. All of the negative bull shit from your ex, your dad. The culture you grew up in, your self-doubt. All of that shit surfaces when you’re running on empty and have a long way to go. When you’re dehydrated, burnt out, and questioning yourself, you discover (or don’t) a lot more mental stamina than you ever though you would have. Competing can drive you to your best self- emotionally, mentally, physically.

Or, it can drive you crazy.

You will never compare yourself so much to others as you do as a competitor. No matter how far you go, someone has gone further. They’ve worked harder, eaten better, been in the sport longer. No matter how hard you push, someone has better genetics, better coaching, more time on their hands more rest, or drugs to give them a leg up.

You will feel your best, and you will look at your competitors, and you will wonder if you are good enough.

The further you go, the more you are exposed to the industry as a whole, the more you will deal with both the idolatry of the masses and the hatred and derision of the few. The larger the audience, the larger the negativity. The more you will learn that everyone is not your champion, everyone is not your friend. You will learn that the industry is harsh on the smallest of flaws. If you don’t watch out, that comparison, that negativity, that harshness, can control your life.

Religious adherence to meal plans can become an obsession with perfection in every gram. It’s own eating disorder. You may never view food the same as you learn about macronutrients, as you see what the slightest alterations in nutrition can do to your body.

The gym is your friend, and your enemy. You may wonder if one more rep, one more set, 20 more minutes of cardio … if that’s what your competitors are doing.

You will look in the mirror your first show, and you will see the best body of your life… and you will compete, and you may learn to look at the same body as flawed, imperfect, not good enough. You may begin to view yourself as an imperfect sculpture, something you want to break down, constantly, and rebuild, to be just right.

If you are not careful, competing will drive you crazy. It will take the joy out of your workouts and the fun out of food. If you are not careful, your world can become very, very small, and your self-esteem increasingly smaller.

If you are not careful, this industry, competing at large – can break you down into a self-absorbed, self-centered, miserably self-aware, imperfect, flawed, broken person fighting to be in someone else’s body. Fighting for a title or an opinion or approval of everyone. If you are not careful, competing can change your life… for the worse.

But.

IF you choose to look back and remember, if you realize that every single person out there competing is just as self-critical, just as flawed, just as individual, just as unique… if you realize that food is also for enjoyment, and indulge in moderation out of prep… if you recognize that you will compete for a time span but live for a lifetime, you will find joy in beating your best self. You will thrive on a curiosity for the unknown potential of your own physique… you will engage in every moment of competition prep and stage time with a zest for knowing you’ve achieved a discipline and drive many can only dream of. You will find joy in empowering other people to fight for their best self. You will compare yourself to no one but the old you. You will learn that everything has a time and a place, and you will refuse the negativity of others in a quest to find your own self-assurance.

If you control it as you grow as a competitor, you can stay sane in a crazy, perfection-obsessed industry. You can continually one-up your last best time, your last highest weight, your last rep count, your last push. You can expand your world instead of shrinking it as your digital presence grows. You can remember that you’re comparing on a different scale, and lose the burden to constantly fight to be anyone else.

You can look at your own weaknesses, and see them as a project. You can find a way to both accept yourself fully and yet never become static in your journey.

If you choose to take the wheel, you can drive your competing, as well as let it drive you, and it won’t drive you crazy.

You choose.

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Worth a Read: The Brutally Honest 6 Reasons You Are Still Overfat

Read the article HERE: http://strengthcoachtaylor.ca/uncategorized/the-brutally-honest-6-reasons-you-are-still-overfat/

THE BRUTALLY HONEST 6 REASONS YOU ARE STILL OVERFAT

I haven’t written a new blog in quite some time. Why? Because every time I go to write a new blog I realize that I have already written on the topic, most often many years ago. So I just repost that. How does this happen? It happens because there is very little that is new in fitness.

Sure we repackage things and create flashy new tittles for the same old same old. The zone diet has become the paleo diet. Ab workouts became core training, which is becoming functional fitness. Warm-ups became prehabilitation, which is becoming movement training. It’s all the same stuff at the most basic level. When you actually break it all down to individual components you will see that it is all basically the same thing. Except the new versions are making a lot of money for those who are able to get creative and do the repackaging.

When it comes to fat loss (weight loss for all those over 40) things are no different. In fact I would say that the societal drive to ‘lose weight’ and have a skinnier (now leaner and soon to be more muscular) body is probably the absolute worst culprit for this lack of change.

I am told on a fairly regular basis that I am an asshole. It is something I have pretty much become calloused to. I used to wonder if it was something I was doing wrong, so I spent a lot of time trying to understand why some people consider me an asshole with a stick up my ass thinking everyone is out to get me, when in actual fact I have literally dedicated my life to helping other people improve the quality of their lives.

Of all places, an Internet meme summed it all up for me and I suddenly figured it out.see-through-your-bullshit-300x300

My problem is my complete commitment to honesty. I am simply too brutally honest. Add to this the fact that I can see straight through bullshit and it is a recipe for offense. Just ask my lovely wife how annoying this can be!

You see we live in a culture of jazz hands. Put on a smile and tell people what they want to hear. Maybe, just maybe, passive aggressively try and tell someone the truth. But never in a way that could possibly offend anyone.

Fuck. That. Shit.

I don’t live like that and for better or for worse I won’t ever change this. SOMEONE out there has to deliver the truth. Argh.

So this blog is designed for all of you concerned with fat loss and who are in pursuit of a leaner, less fat laden, physique. Be forewarned! This is coming at you in a brutally honest matter and from more than a decade of experienced combined with more certifications and education on the topic than 98% of the population.

The Truth About Why You Are Still Overfat

 

  1. The 2 Minute Rule

In a mere two minutes I can tell you if someone will be successful in their quest for a leaner physique. And two minutes is being safe. It is probably closer to about 30 seconds. And this applies not just to fat loss but also to the rest of your health and fitness goals.

If you blame yourself – success. If you blame everything else – no success. Period.

When I first talk to people I am not listening to the details of their health, fitness, and nutrition. That stuff is pretty irrelevant and I am going to be changing it all anyway. All I want to know is whether a person takes responsibility for themselves or if they blame everything and everyone else.

You haven’t been successful because you made bad decisions. You ordered a pizza on a Tuesday night. You surfed Pinterest for an hour instead of heading to the gym to train. You bought a tub of ice cream to ‘have a treat’ while watching Downton Abbey (confession: I love Downton Abbey).

VS.

My significant other brought home pizza so I had that for supper. I had to respond to my friends third cousins post on Facebook to debunk the anti-vaccination people and that is why I skipped my workout. Everyone brought donuts to work to ‘indulge’ while we sat around and talked about Downton Abbey.

See the difference? I made the decision. THEY all MADE me do it.

You are responsible for yourself. Either take responsibility for your own life and actions or blame everyone else and everything else around. I really don’t give a shit. Honestly. I don’t care. Because I am over here living my own life that isn’t affected by you. And that is why I am successful.

So make a decision. Take care of your own life or sit around bitching how hard everything is and how everything is someone else’s fault.

It’s your life.

  1. You can’t make a sacrifice.

I am seeing this pop up on a lot of blogs in all sorts of areas and I sure hope it sticks.

Who said life was easy?

Who said life was fair?

Let’s release the captive born lion back into the wild and to its natural habitat. That is fair. That is how it is supposed to live. Then the pretty sunset hits the camera with just a touch of lens flare as the newly released lion jogs into the sunset. Fade to black.

The camera isn’t there tomorrow when the lion gets hungry. Or the day after that when a territorial dispute leaves bloody wounds across its back. Or a week later when it is starving because it has never been taught to hunt. And a week after that when it is lying in a field unable to move because it is dying of infection and lack of water and its emaciated body is mere minutes from death. A flock of vultures moving in behind the lion as its ragged breathing finally stops. Fade to black.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate the idea of animals in captivity. But let’s not glamourize what life outside of captivity is really like. Forget the Disney version of fairy tale endings (Cinderella actually had parts of her feet cut off to fit in the slippers), real life is hard, brutal, and not fair.

You have to make sacrifice to stay healthy. Deal with it. You will have to turn down the donuts. Pass over the ice cream. Skip the odd party.

Forever? No. You can add these into a healthy life for sure. Not daily. Maybe not even weekly. 95% of your diet has to be perfectly healthy. That is the reality.

Life isn’t fair. Life is hard. You will get out of it what you put into it.

And when you decide to make real changes, when you make a commitment to yourself to make a difference, YOU HAD BETTER STICK TO IT.

We run challenges a couple times a year to help people make more drastic changes to their lives. Usually ranging in length from 6 to 12 weeks. Most people do really well. Some people don’t.

This blows my fucking mind. It’s 8 weeks. Seriously. You can’t make sacrifices for 8 weeks? And to be fair those who don’t make the length of the program usually are going off track within the first 3 weeks.

Yep. Can’t even do something for 3. Fucking. Weeks. And then have the audacity to complain or be down on themselves because they aren’t getting results! Seriously? WTF. You couldn’t even make 3 weeks of some small life sacrifices to change your health. I don’t feel sorry for you.

I am sure it’s your co-workers fault for bringing in that cake.

  1. You Don’t Know What a Treat Is

Treat /tret/: defn: an event or item that is out of the ordinary and gives great pleasure

You know the part about great pleasure. Chocolate tastes good. Wine goes down smooth. Nachos and wings are delicious. Cookies should be their own food group.

But you missed a part I think.

‘An event or item that is out of the ordinary’

100 years ago you had cake on your birthday and maybe a family member or two. 70 years ago you had a milkshake a few times a year at the drugstore soda fountain. 20 years ago you ordered Chinese food (the nasty deep fried North American version) a couple times a year as a family or at a party.

Today is different. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY you are exposed to ‘treats’. Donuts and chocolate milk on the way home from your kids sporting events. Trays of cookies in the office lounge. Bags of chips in the cupboard.

Every. Single. Day.

That’s without dinners and events every weekend or birthday parties, anniversaries, baby showers, sports events, holidays, and the plethora of celebratory events.

‘Treats’ are something out of the ordinary. If it happens more than once a month it is no longer out of the ordinary. Stop saying treat. You aren’t having a treat.

It comes down to sacrifice and commitment, like we talked about earlier. Come on. You’re a grown ass adult making their own decisions. Don’t delude yourself in an attempt to justify the fact you are fully responsible for the shit you plow into your mouth.

You are just eating shit. And that’s fine. I don’t care. It’s your life. Don’t cry over the blubber hanging over your belt though.

  1. You Are Planning for the End Date Already

When we sell annual memberships at our fitness facility we have a few red flags that pop up. When a potential new member is seemingly more concerned with how long the contract is and how they can get out of the contract that they even have yet to sign, we know the relationship is not going to work out.

If you are already planning the end then what you are doing is not for life. And if you are doing things for your health and fitness that you don’t plan on doing for life then you are destroying your own life.

I see it all the time during challenges. ‘Only 3 more weeks.’ ‘Halfway through!.’

You. Have. Already. Failed.

An end implies cessation of current activities. If your current activities are healthy then by default the cessation of those activities is unhealthy. They are your old habits. You know them, they are the habits and activities (or lack thereof) that got you to this point to begin with.

If the end point is in your sights I am telling you right now that you will not be successful in the long term.

It is awesome to have targets and goals. In fact it is imperative to have targets and goals. But those are simply markers, stepping stones, to the ultimate goals, which should be health and fitness until the day you die.

If you have an end date in mind you are already fucked.

  1. You Want Results Faster Than Your Laziness

Four week bootcamp programs are seemingly still popular. Two week diets! Results in just one week! 10lbs a week in weight loss!!

The claims never stop. They just keep on coming. Everyone wants results fast. They want results now.

Question for you: how long did it take to plump up that body of yours with extra adipose tissue?

One week? Two weeks? Four weeks?

Probably not. It was probably something that caught up with you over time. Months. Years. It is slow and steady and a result of many different factors all working together to plump you up.

It’s the parents of the other kids on the team who bring in donut holes and cookies. It was your coworkers who kept having Friday pizza parties. It was your job that got busy preventing you from doing any exercise.

Just joking. By this point you should know better than that! Seriously.

Those are all a group of compounding factors that led to you being fatter than you want to be.

Yet now you want to change and you think making ONE change (adding exercise) should have RESULTS in 3 WEEKS.

Wtf. Remember earlier when we talked about being a grown ass adult? Take that to heart again.

The same way it went on is how it is going to come off. Through a group of compounding factors over a period of time. You have to change your exercise, your diet, and your lifestyle and you have to expect it to take the SAME amount of time to get back to where you were as it took to get you to where you are.

Period.

Can you get results in 4 weeks? Sure. Will they last for the next 4 years. No. No they won’t.

As long as you are looking at short term fixes with definitive end dates, having a few treats, and blaming everyone else for your current state, you will never be successful.

  1. You Have a Shitty Fucking Attitude

This is the number one thing I believe will have the most effect on your long term health and fitness.

Your attitude.

This is something I rant about a lot. You need to read what I am about to say and really try to understand it.

You need to shut the fuck up about how hard you have it and how hard your life is. Seriously.

There are people who really have it rough. They have no home, no job, they have cancer or diabetes, they have been in terrible accidents and their bodies are broken, and many people have no way out and no hope to make it better.

If you have a house, can walk on two legs, use both your arms, have a job, a family, can go grocery shopping, drive in your car, go out for dinner, exercise, and free time then STFU. If you don’t have to be worried about your young daughters being kidnapped at school by boko haram and sold into slavery and you don’t have to worry about ebola decimating your entire community and everyone you love, then STFU.

The vast majority of people reading this will be North American middle class and above. You are among the luckiest of all humans on earth.

And you go around bitching and moaning about how hard you have it. About how hard it is to not eat cookies while you watch TV. About how hard it is to motivate yourself to go workout after a day at work. About having to eat pizza and wings at a Superbowl party.

You’re stressed because you have a little blubber hanging over your belt? Almost 1 billion humans suffer from malnutrition and chronic malnourishment.

You are so lucky. You don’t even know.

Why do I write about all of this in a fat loss fitness article?

It is because your attitude will determine your success. And your attitude is based on your life and the issues you deal with. And I want you to take a minute to put into perspective the majority of your problems and issues.

It’s too hard to exercise. Think about accident victims who are now confined to a wheelchair and would give anything JUST TO TAKE A SINGLE STEP.

You’re just too tired to exercise. Think about people living in fear for their lives of another missile attack or rape gang visiting their village.

Everyone else makes it so hard on you bringing bad food around. Think about all the children who are without parents because their parents are dead from preventable disease that could have been corrected with a healthy diet.

It’s everyone else’s fault. No. It’s. Not.

It is your life, your decisions. Your life is what you make your life to be. Period. Your attitude WILL determine your success in both your health and your life.

It is either a cold miserable winter day or a chance to learn to cross country ski. It is either a boring meal of roast and vegetables or a gift to spend time with loved ones over a bounty of food many people would literally kill for. It is either a workout you have to do or a celebration of the amazing gift your healthy body is.

Conclusions

Your life is yours to live. Be reasonable, responsible, and realistic.

What I have written is all true. It is the brutally honest truth that people aren’t telling you. I have coached hundreds of people over the last 13 years and I can tell you that each one of these 6 honest truth’s work. Every. Single. Time.

Take each of these 6 truth’s to heart. Live them. Mold your lives around them. And you will achieve every single health and fitness goal you have ever had.

-Coach Taylor

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10 Reasons to DQ Your Long-term Girlfriend

Whoa, whoa, that’s not nice, right?

Maybe, but truth is, it can be very hard to discern at times where we are blind when it comes to making the decision to take a relationship further (whether that means saying four little words, or making a verbal commitment, moving in together or buying some bling).

My target audience is usually different, but this one’s for the boys: this is for you blind lovers out there who can’t really decide when you’ve got all-that up in yo FACE and you WANT IT… when she pitches constant bitch fits but makes some amazing lasagna… when she’s a dog person, and you love dogs… but she can’t spell her own name.

Here’s how to decide if you should make that leap… or nah: Here’s 10 Reasons to DQ Your Long-Term Girlfriend. And because I know half of you boys won’t read anything this long, scroll to the bottom for a summary.

10 Reasons to DQ Your Long-Term Girlfriend

1. She likes shiny things more than paying her electric bill.

Long-term relationships require some responsibility on the part of both partners. If your girl is slinging diamonds and Prada instead of making her rent payment on-time… it’s a DQ. Long-term relationships require an awareness of and adherence to adult responsibilities. 

2. She can name every character on Jersey Shore but thinks “suffrage” for women is as inhumane as the way Jionni treated Snooki on Season 2. 

If you haven’t seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lysWbzQyiWw.

Apparently the majority of women these days don’t even know basics about history and culture. If your girl lives in a tiny bubble full of fist-pumping, oompa-loompa-colored Italians with grammar problems… it’s a DQ. Long-term relationships need big-picture partners (she doesn’t need to be Einstein, but she does need to care about something of value). 

3. She can’t leave the house without a 90-minute primp session, even when you’re already 283 minutes late. 

The older you get, the more you realize that while RESPECT demands some level of self-care,  SELF-OBSESSION is marked by a constant clinging to insecurities at the expense of honoring your commitments. If she’s unwilling to sacrifice a perfect image to respect yours (or others’) time… it’s a DQ. Long-term relationships require respect for others. 

4. She knows every Taylor Swift song by heart but can’t remember the name of your favorite team.

This may seem trivial, but the things that matter most to you should matter to your girl. While she may not be able to list off the entire starting lineup for for the Lakers or your current level of achievement in World of Warcraft, she should be able to recognize a few key things that matter to you. If not? DQ. Long-term relationships need partners who care.

5. She’s a constant bitch-track about her job, her family, or her friends. 

Let’s face it, you might be able to handle a little whining here and there… but picture that ish for 20 years. Can you really stand her griping on replay… forever? While you should be able to be honest and complain once and a while with your partner, there’s like, totally, a limit before you like, want to shoot yourself. Does she even DO anything about the things she “can’t evens” about? If not… DQ. Long-term relationships require partners who contribute positively to each other’s lives. 

6. She expects you to fix everything. 

We aren’t talking household appliances here (sorry boys, if she can’t that one’s on you), we’re talking life shit. All of that stuff she might complain about (see 5)? If she expects you to fix everything, she ain’t the one. Can’t leave her alone for an hour without worrying she might fall apart on her own? Not a good sign: DQ. Long-term relationships aren’t truly codependent, they require partners who can each take care of their own shit. 

7. She’s her own breed of Hungry Hippo when it comes to attention from other guys. 

This is bad, bad, bad news bears. Here’s a good example:

Recently my boyfriend and I had a “tiff”. A guy friend I’ve known for a long time (and never dated) commented something sarcastic on my Instagram – it looked like a compliment, but I know him, he’s a sarcastic bastard and it wasn’t intended as a nicety. I replied with an equally sarcastic kissy face emoji. What I saw? A joking, friendly, non-romantic, non-flirtatious interaction with an old friend in good nature. What my boyfriend saw? Flirting. Lucky for me, I’ve never broken his trust so a quick explanation and a post adjustment was all that was needed to smooth the situation over.

However, it’s something I see all too often: girls hungry for the attention of other guys – in public, in social media, with “old friends” in private, at school… and their guy doesn’t see the warning signs. If your girl’s crack is another guy’s gaze (no pun intended), DQ her. Long-term relationships require benchmark fidelity (and constant flirtation is just a foreshadowing of bad things to come). 

8. Her only friends are you and her Pomeranian, “Sprinkles”. 

Like it or not, in the long-term, if your girl’s friend list as as short as that skirt you love, you’re in trouble. You cannot and will not ever be anyone’s everything.  These relationships fail, FAST. Guaranteed, if she’s putting you on a pedestal now, later on when you disappoint her in some way (you will), or when you’re unavailable and she feels “lonely”, you’ll be the fall guy. I’ve seen so many girls blame their man when he “falls short” because they’ve made everything in their life about him, or become jealous of his (even male-only) own friendships. If your girl can’t make a few good friends independently of you, it’s a DQ. Long-term relationships require outside relationships for support. 

9. She’s your biggest cheerleader… NOT. 

It’s been said too much because it’s super, totally, completely, like, awesomely, but really – TRUE. Your partner should be your most relentless supporter! If what you want and what you’re doing and what you are passionate about isn’t directly hurting her or anyone else, she should be championing it. She should be the one saying “babe, pick up the guitar” or “go for it, you can do it” or “you’re getting better and better!”. If your girl is more hyped to start the next season of Gossip Girl than she is for your band’s debut at a local dive bar, DQ her. The example might seem silly, but it’s spot-on. I’ve seen so many relationships fail when people realize that the other person wasn’t willing to support them, or to pick them up when they failed after multiple tries. Long-term relationships require partners who passionately champion each other’s hopes and dreams. 

10. She freaks out like a squirrel on crack if you don’t text her back.

Oh boys, this one is so big. Don’t dig this grave! If you can’t leave your phone for 5 seconds without a dozen self-defeating messages, DQ her!!! Example:

8:43 Babe: hey lover, good morning (insert string of dumb emojis here)

8:44 Babe: hey, you awake?

8:45 Babe: I know you’re awake, I just checked your Facebook, where are you

8:46 Babe: are you sick? are you okay?

8:47 Babe: you’re mad aren’t you, about the other night – that’s stupid, seriously babe?

8:48 Babe: i’m really worried about you! text me back, what the heck? are you seriously that pissed?

8:49 Babe: i’m crying, you made me cry. great, i have to go to work looking like shit.

9:43 Babe: i’m on my way to work, you better call me later i’m super pissed. this is ridiculous, you’re a child. i’m dating a child.

I KNOW you’ve all dated or talked to that girl! DON’T COMMIT! Long-term relationships require partners who are SECURE in the care, affection, and interest of the other. If you’ve never done anything to break trust, and neither has she, this kind of shit has no place in a long-term commitment.

Because I KNOW most guys only skim, here’s a summary.

  1. Long-term relationships require an awareness of and adherence to adult responsibilities. 
  2. Long-term relationships need big-picture partners (she doesn’t need to be Einstein, but she does need to care about something of value). 
  3. Long-term relationships need partners who care.
  4. Long-term relationships require respect for others. 
  5. Long-term relationships require partners who contribute positively to each other’s lives. 
  6. Long-term relationships aren’t truly codependent, they require partners who can each take care of their own shit. 
  7. Long-term relationships require benchmark fidelity (and constant flirtation is just a foreshadowing of bad things to come). 
  8. Long-term relationships require outside relationships for support. 
  9. Long-term relationships require partners who passionately champion each other’s hopes and dreams. 
  10.  Long-term relationships require partners who are SECURE in the care, affection, and interest of the other.

Cheers, and best of luck.

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7 (oops, 5) Things a Good Coach Will Never (ever, EVER) Do

So we’ve touched on this a little in the previous post: what you need in a coach, and what you don’t.

A good coach is VITAL to your journey as a competitor, and that includes POST-SHOW and OFF-SEASON. But hold on that, we will get to that in future posts.

If you’re questioning your current coach or exploring new ones, or if you’re wondering about your own coaching style, take a look at these 5 Things a Good Coach Will Never Do!

5 Things a Good Coach Will Never Do

  1. They will NEVER IGNORE YOUR FEEDBACK OR CONCERNS

Anonymous Example One (these are all true feedback stories) writes:

     “I left [my coach] shortly after my rebound from my last prep… Sent an inquiry about post-show or off-season prep (even willing to pay full price!) received a non-specific, awkward email almost ten days later and then nothing. Medical concerns went unanswered or dismissed. ‘Oh severe muscle cramping and numbness in your toes? Just drink more water.'”

I’m honestly shocked and appalled by how common these testimonials are. Let’s talk for a minute about something called rhabdomyolysis. I’m spending the most time on this point, because it effing matters.

WEBMD tells us: Rhabdomyolysis is a serious syndrome due to a direct or indirect muscle injury. It results from a breakdown of muscle fibers and release of their contents into the bloodstream. This can lead to complications such as kidney (renal) failure. This occurs when the kidneys cannot remove waste and concentrate urine. In rare cases, rhabdomyolysis can even cause death.

In fitness this essentially means… bad sh*t happens when you overtrain. The scary truth? Rhabdo results in long-term dialysis (as in kidney problems for life) or even death, and can happen to anyone. Rhabdoymyolysis is particularly prevalent in athletes new to sports with high intensity routines. These people don’t know their bodies as well and are ignorant of warning signs.

Sample of rhabdo symptoms: 

  • Muscle pain, especially in the shoulders, thighs or lower back
  • Muscle weakness or trouble moving arms or legs
  • Abdominal pain
  • Nauseaor vomiting
  • Fever, rapid heart rate
  • Lack of feeling in hands and feet
  • Confusion, dehydration, fever, dizziness or lack of consciousness.

In untrained athletes, early symptoms of rhabdo (or overtraining… see below) are often confused with muscle soreness (DOMS).

IF YOU ARE TELLING YOUR COACH that you have one or more of any of these symptoms, and they’re telling you to drink more water… get a new d*mn coach.

MUCH more common than rhbado but also very dangerous is overtraining syndrome.

What is Overtraining Syndrome?

People who are very physically active sometimes cross the line between sufficient training and too much training. Overtraining usually occurs when the body does not have enough time to recover from the stress of intense training.

Signs of overtraining include the following:

  • You constantly feel tired or listless.
  • You cannot make further fitnessgains or you actually move backward in your level of fitness.
  • You suddenly lose weight.
  • Your resting heartrate increases 5 beats per minute.
  • You have lost your enthusiasm for exercising.
  • You feel irritable, angry, or depressed.

Treatment for overtraining requires that you cut back on training or stop altogether for 1 to 2 weeks. In extreme cases, a month or more of rest may be needed. It can be very difficult for a person for whom training is a way of life to believe that they have overtrained and need rest. It is more effective to prevent overtraining in the first place.

In competitors, overtraining is often mistaken for carb-deprivation or the “rigors of competing”.

If you express concern to your coach about any of these symptoms, and they ignore you or tell you they’re normal without asking more questions, explaining things carefully, or referring you to a doctor…. Get a new coach.

No matter what type of feedback you’re giving, if it’s ignored, you’re not being taken care of. You’re PAYING to have customized, carefully crafted plans with a coach, AND a relationship with that coach – your training experience should be a dialogue. Not a brick wall.

Ok, finally, onto the last 6 points (I”ll be brief)!

  1. They will NEVER FAIL TO EXPLAIN “WHY”

A bad coach will tell you to do it… because they said so.

A good coach will tell you to do it… because [insert explanation here].

In other words, a good or even GREAT coach will explain WHY you do what you do.

Anonymous Example Two writes:

     “I asked one time why my diet and workouts never changed… I was told that if it’s working, why change it? I didn’t feel this was a great answer.”

These types of answers are a write-off for a coach who either isn’t giving you the time and energy you deserve to explain, or who actually doesn’t know.

Don’t be afraid to ask “why?” If they never answer… find someone who will.

  1. They will NEVER FORGET ABOUT YOU

Coaches are busy: we are often belabored by tons of questions. I have been! Sometimes, we are too busy to answer right away. However…

Anonymous Example Three writes:

     “I sent a question on my show day after sending several questions the week before. My coach never answered. As a result, I went in blind.”

If you have a time-sensitive question, your coach should answer, promptly.

Even if you have a general question, it still shouldn’t take a week to hear back.

If you don’t receive a response, or it takes a long time to hear back, the coach is either lazy, doesn’t care, or doesn’t delegate properly. Big teams can often cause a hold on response times that SHOULD indicate to the leader or leaders that it’s time to hire some help.

If you’re paying for coaching, you should get it.

  1. They will NEVER PUBLICLY OR PRIVATELY HUMILIATE YOU

Anonymous Example Four writes:

“My coach called me a ‘loser’ when I got second callouts.”

If you haven’t flinched… you should be. This is NEVER okay. Coaches are there to encourage and exhort you. Do we need to be honest with you? Yes. But never, ever, are we there to pull you down.

If your coach has spoken badly of you to others, or to your face, you need a new coach.

  1. They will NEVER REFUSE TO CHANGE YOUR PLANS

A good coach will incorporate feedback. Will they make things easier on you? No. They should push you. But if something hurts, or if you feel you’re not targeting a weakness which they’re aware of, or if you need an adjustment because your gym is lacking certain equipment… you name it… your coach should be available for those small adjustments.

Anonymous Example Five writes:

“I told my coach that I had a gluten and dairy intolerance. When I got my plans, they included both wheat and dairy.”

Busy coaches do sometimes have oversights. But if this happens, you’d better be asking them why. The same thing is true for plans which never change… ever. A good coach knows that changing your plans every 4-6 weeks prevents plateaus, a good coach adjusts plans to avoid injury or to focus on your weaknesses, and a good coach is available to continue that dialogue and make tweaks as you go.

I recently told my coach I couldn’t afford the steak I was supposed to eat every night – and he tweaked my plans so I could have lean ground beef instead. That’s a good coach!

If your coach never changes your plans and always refuses to incorporate your feedback, move on.

This post went longer than intended, so it got chopped back to 5 points! Essentially, in summary:

A Good Coach:

WILL NEVER IGNORE YOUR FEEDBACK OR CONCERNS

WILL NEVER FAIL TO EXPLAIN “WHY”

WILL NEVER FORGET ABOUT YOU

WILL NEVER PUBLICLY OR PRIVATELY HUMILIATE YOU

WILL NEVER REFUSE TO CHANGE YOUR PLANS

I hope these points are a helpful reminder to you of what you deserve in a coach.

For coaches out there, I’m calling you (and reminding myself) to keep these things in mind as you grow. Let’s keep the integrity in this sport by being true to the care of our clients.

 

 

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Life’s Purpose

People want purpose.

They want something to live for, rules to live by, rewards and struggles and triumphs.

People want to define value by what they achieve.

What they have.

Who they marry.

What group they identify with: gay, straight, religious, atheist, athlete, musician, hipster, corporate, blue collar, white collar, married, single, middle class, poor…

I grew up thinking my value was defined by how many people I “converted”. How “close I could get to God”. How much better I could get at being “perfect”.

What if, instead, our value is defined by our self awareness?

What if, instead of fighting to identify, to redefine, to blend, you fight to find yourself?

What if you use your challenges to ferret out your strengths? Your triumphs to encourage you to sharpen your gifts?

What if you spend life surrounding yourself with people who push you to be the truest and best version of yourself?

What if your income, your possessions, your relationships, your studies, your job, your future are simple tools to discover the deepest parts of you?

I would submit that the end-goal of life is never a line in the sand, a box of things, a relationship and its tenure…

The end-goal of life, of my life, is knowing myself better.

You discover, with time, as you let yourself into YOU, what you are capable of, what you can achieve.

You discover your self-discipline, the lengths of your patience, the better parts of your character, and the struggle to preserve them.

And from there, you give back.

Until you really know what you are capable of, until you know yourself, you cannot truly capitalize on your abilities.

When you pause to study yourself, you begin to be awed by your own potential.

Learn your potential. Fight for your individuality.

Don’t blend, cave, surrender. Be you, find you, develop you.

Learn the value of “I can”, and learn to DO, by learning the essence of the person behind that knowledge and its implementation.

Stop focusing on what the world thinks of you, what your friends think of you, who you want to look like and become, and start delving inward.

Turn your focus to being the best and truest version of your very own individual self.

I promise you, that’s the best place to find happiness, and to develop purpose.

Your integrity to yourself is the greatest and most beautiful thing you can achieve in this lifetime.

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